tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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