woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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