she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
