I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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