it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
