Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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