do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
