I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
