My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
