I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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