"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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