Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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