I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
