I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
