what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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