Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
