YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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