Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He better not be in your backpack
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
