i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
