Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
