and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
