I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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