I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
