I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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