His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
