True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
