i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
