God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
