we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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