last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
