the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
