I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
