capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
