ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
