Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
