The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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