Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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