So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
