Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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