Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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