oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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