You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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