Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize