I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
