turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Everything about him screamed your future.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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