Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
