i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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