He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize