yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
