Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
