Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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