If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
