we made out on top of his cat.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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