HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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