I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
