are you still at the devil's house?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
