Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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