So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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