I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
