Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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