he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
