fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
